It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
