nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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