You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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