I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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