are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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