the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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