The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
