oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
