He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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