paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
