U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
