Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
