K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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