I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
