I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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