I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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