It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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