I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
