it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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