Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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