Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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