thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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