why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
