Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
