What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have tasted many bathrooms
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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