can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
