I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
