Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
