he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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