I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
