this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dick very happy bro
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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