Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
