There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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