Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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