Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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