Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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