Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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