It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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