This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
