I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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