Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
