I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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