i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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