saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
