It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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