and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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