I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
