bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
