fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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