How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
